Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
