do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
