Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
