dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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