Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
