if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
