He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
