drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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