But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
