Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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