In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
