Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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