this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
