Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
