I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
