im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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