Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
