this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
