i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
