I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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