dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
