So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
