I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
