She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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