Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
