the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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