I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you win again, gameday.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
