his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
