But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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