im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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