am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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