Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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