Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize