I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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