i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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