need another drink. this is the easiest way
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
