alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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