i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
