you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
