There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
