Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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