Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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