Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
