So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
