gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
