the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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