Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
