omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
