Who wears a wallet chain?!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
