Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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