Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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