It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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