why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My life is pants optional.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
