I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
