I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
