I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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