i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
