He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
